liwei;丽薇

2011-11-20T23:32:00.002+08:00

One thing I've always hated is to be left behind by friends. To me, it is more than an act of forgetfulness. "We didn't even realise you were gone. Guess that means you don't really matter." Maybe this time, it is my own fault for not being around much - but then again with my timetable I think I can hardly be blamed.

You guys, my new friends, have already done it twice in a short four months. Am I really that insignificant?

Words cannot even express the amount of hurt, followed by anger I felt that night.

Goodnight.

Wishful thinking

2011-10-15T23:13:00.001+08:00

2010-08-05T11:37:00.000+08:00

Saving money is one thing, but having lunch in the office everyday defeats the purpose of lunchtime, doesn't it? And then saying "let's go out for lunch" only to sit there and watch me eat? Once or twice would have been fine but now it's getting too much for me to stand.

How can you love me when I'm ugly?

2010-07-23T22:46:00.003+08:00

The rift

2010-02-02T08:21:00.002+08:00

I am not whiny, but things are getting too serious. While it used to be that the gap could never be filled, there was always a bridge that we could use to get across. Now it seems that the gap is ever-widening, and the bridge has been stretched to its limits. Every day that passes, every little thing that happens stresses the bridge even more. And one day, the bridge will break. What will happen then?
There will be two.
Or maybe it was always two to begin with.

The Notebook

2009-12-03T20:14:00.002+08:00

I'm 5 years slow but glad about it. The Notebook was an amazing read and I'm now going to hunt for the movie. If it's good, I may change my mind about the topic/movie for my film term paper :)
I'm trying Tumblr out, but I still don't like the idea of having to "follow" people or letting others "follow" me, if I want nice pictures or quotes. Hmm. I <3 Blogger.

2009-12-03T11:31:00.001+08:00

Better than I expected - but why did it have to have a sad ending?!!!

-Runs off sobbing-

The Anonymous Production Assistant

2009-12-03T11:23:00.000+08:00

"But you also have to submit your resume at the exact moment that they’re looking for a PA with your exact qualifications. You have to connect with the AD or coordinator some indefinable way. You have to be ready when they need you to be ready.

In short, not only do you have to be good, you have to be lucky."

How lucky am I going to be in regards to SIP?

MediaCorp doesn't have places, there are several small independent production companies that are listed but what are the odds of me getting there? There are people with better grades and attitudes than I clamouring for these spots.

Tumblr

2009-12-03T11:01:00.001+08:00

Should I?

Associative Regression

2009-12-02T17:35:00.002+08:00

Look what just came in the (e)mail!

2009-12-01T13:30:00.001+08:00

Gee gee gee gee baby baby baby~

Marcus it's stuck in my head and I'm blaming it on you!

2009-11-26T13:21:00.002+08:00

It's been a while, hasn't it?

Updates:
- School is going fine even though I still hate myself for that stupid mistake in MCP skills test
- RSP promo and written is over and done with
- MEP group project is un-conceptualized
- RSP group project is un-conceptualized
- I'm considering helping with OB
- Internship briefing is over and we found out only 1 student every year goes to MediaCorp Productions
- I'm worried

Oh, and I'm going to Taiwan from the 12th to the 16th of Feb, right before my 3 final papers.
Joy.

First of the first

2009-11-12T23:27:00.002+08:00

My brother sent me a text even though he knows I'm still awake and he's just in the next room:
Congratulations!!! You have survived a trip around the sun! Aren't you proud of yourself? Merry Christmas (: i can't wait up longer so i have to send it early. Sorry :(

Okay ah, maybe not so dead after all

2009-11-06T19:19:00.003+08:00

I've been feeling like shit today, since I woke up this morning. Went to school and got a cup of coffee, which lasted me through MEP. During the break, I regained the feeling-like-shit mood and went for FTC like that. The movie Run Lola Run was good, and thought-inspiring in a way. But my brain wasn't functioning enough to fully grasp the cause-effect theory demonstrated in the movie. All I wanted to do was scream like Lola when the 20min replayed itself for the third time. Headed back to SAR and found Marcus gaming. I nearly lost it. The thought of kicking and screaming was never more appealing than in that instant. Honestly, all I wanted to do was get my ass home for rest and I couldn't stand the thought of sitting there for another half hour or more waiting for the game to finish. Yes, I was a bitch.

So now I'm home with instant noodles and I've relaxed infinitely. Thank goodness.

Sorry Pudding...

2009-11-05T14:44:00.001+08:00

I think I will let this blog die. Like the rest of my past blogs.

2009-10-28T23:08:00.001+08:00

School so far has been awesome. Of course, there is the usual problem of getting group members for the projects but yet again, Faith managed to keep our group intact (without anyone having to join another group). This time, she drew lots! Heh. There's still the odd person or two that I'd rather not be in the same group as, but it's going to be fine :D
Multi-camera today was fun fun fun. It's probably going to be the subject that will tire me out the most, but also my fave.

Exam Stress

2009-10-25T21:54:00.002+08:00

Liwei ; says: (9:52:27 PM)
why your nick so emo

Transfer of file "01. Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling (Rad..." has been accepted by i think i'm trying to save the world from you. Starting transfer...Cancel

Liwei ; says: (9:52:36 PM)
zomg

i think i'm trying to save the world from you says: (9:52:39 PM)
because

i think i'm trying to save the world from you says: (9:52:40 PM)
YOU

i think i'm trying to save the world from you says: (9:52:43 PM)
YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME

Liwei ; says: (9:52:44 PM)
you're gonna save the world from O levels.

Liwei ; says: (9:52:46 PM)
><

i think i'm trying to save the world from you says: (9:52:56 PM)
IMMA CHARGIN MY LAZER

Liwei ; says: (9:53:00 PM)
LOL

Liwei ; says: (9:53:24 PM)
eh. tomorrow. aim to finish your papers with 15min more time to go.

i think i'm trying to save the world from you says: (9:53:27 PM)
SHOOP DA WHOOP

Liwei ; says: (9:53:31 PM)
you're mad.

i think i'm trying to save the world from you says: (9:53:34 PM)
IMMA FIRIN MY LAZER!!

i think i'm trying to save the world from you says: (9:53:43 PM)
MAD OH YEAH

Liwei ; says: (9:53:44 PM)
i'm blogging about this.

i think i'm trying to save the world from you says: (9:53:53 PM)
OH YEAH YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY RIGHT ROUND

Liwei ; says: (9:54:20 PM)
now everyone who reads my blog will know that you're crazy on msn

i think i'm trying to save the world from you says: (9:54:42 PM)
oh noes

i think i'm trying to save the world from you says: (9:54:44 PM)
what should i do

i think i'm trying to save the world from you says: (9:54:56 PM)
POWER LEVEL 9000?!?!

i think i'm trying to save the world from you says: (9:55:06 PM)
zOMG WHAT THE FUXX BBQ SAUCe?

2009-10-25T21:42:00.002+08:00

So my brother starts his O levels tomorrow. He's panicking inside but trying to put up a tough front. He needs advice and comfort but I can't give it to him. I don't have secret formulas to scoring at Os besides good hard studying, plenty of rest and focus. He keeps asking for tips, but honestly I don't have any!
And I'm definitely not going to make something up like his tuition teacher.
"Listen to 'I Gotta Feeling' everyday to relax."
Gee whiz.
And my brother, being the secret kiasu Singaporean that he is, has taken that piece of advice to heart. So now, I've got to download that song for him.

I had no idea that 'Black Eyed Peas' in Chinese is 黑眼豆豆.

Putdowns; What a letdown

2009-10-22T15:38:00.002+08:00

Had my lunch with Faith and Shuhan today at Mensa II. The conversation topics mostly revolved around people. People we love, hate, dislike, who irritate us, and people that we simply can't understand.

Public displays of affection.
I'll admit I used to be one of the disgusting couples occupying myself at the back of the bus with a guy. No, we didn't go very far, but it must have been horrible to watch and I am honestly ashamed of my past self. It's a relief to be able to say that I don't do that anymore now, but I still do show affection. And I have no intentions of stopping. I love my boyfriend, and I won't hesitate to show it; I simply know where to draw the line now that I've matured (in my own opinion xD). Having said that, I think an apology is also in order to all the friends who've had to suffer through the clingy-ness that Marcus and I have displayed in the past year. Feel free to slap me if you feel it's getting too much ;)

Today, Faith told me that I
- look unapproachable
- wear my heart on my sleeve
How do I go about rectifying the above?

A Secretly Suicidal Comic

2009-10-21T00:25:00.001+08:00

Thanks Ming.

Lunch

2009-10-21T00:12:00.003+08:00

Today, I had lunch with Faith and Amelia (but she was sitting at an adjacent table). I will probably miss having Amelia as a groupmate. She was the force behind all of us, from night-time/early-morning reminders, emails stating meeting agendas and delegating tasks. Faith's still going to be my classmate (and probably groupmate as well) but there's the problem of getting other group members. I want my SingCam group back ):

This semester, Radio Production promises to be a killer. I will aim for a pass (without supp) and be happy with it. I hate the way my voice sounds over the recording and I certainly am not capable of talking my way through a (short?!) 5 minute set that is aired live in BizPark. With my lecturer sitting beside me. And the knowledge that whatever I do in that 5 minutes determines the fate of 50% of my grade for RP. Duck. Duck Duck Duck Duck Duck. DUCK.

Taken from almnopee, quite long ago!

2009-10-18T23:15:00.001+08:00

When your mother has grown older, and you have grown older,
When what was formerly easy and effortless becomes a burden,
When her dear loyal eyes do not look out into life as before,
When her legs have grown tired and do not want to carry her any more,
Then give her your arm for support, accompany her with gladness and joy.
The hour will come when, weeping, you will accompany her to her last journey,
and if she asks you, answer her.
And if she asks again, speak also.
And if she asks another time, speak to her, not stormily, but in gentle peace.
And if she cannot understand you well, explain everything joyfully.
The hour will come, the bitter hour, when her mouth will ask no more.

Haircut, 2xBANG=Bangs

2009-10-15T22:06:00.002+08:00

Yep, bangs. I'm not used to it.

Brother: "You look weird."
Marcus: "Oh my god."

Sometimes I hate my neighbourhood.
-Noisy kids.
-Karang guni. Many of them.
-Noisy car alarms.
-People shouting.
-Dizi player (well at least it's decent sounding).
-Some wind instrument that sounds like a trumpet to me (sounds quite horrible).
-Piano player.
-Chinese funerals.
-Malay weddings.
-Void deck celebrations.
-Smelly lifts.
-Bicycle stealing idiots.
-Shoe stealing assholes.

Yesterday on the way home from PS with Kim and Faith, I was reminded of the exact reason why I'd rather not have children.
The boy was obnoxious, rude, lazy, obviously spoilt, and was demeaning his friend. So we proceeded to bitch a little about him while standing right behind his maid who was carrying his schoolbag for him while he harassed his friend. Note: I say harass because the friend was already ignoring him and focusing instead on a game. Ha ha ha, just lucky that his parents weren't around.
The kids alighted, leaving me alone and in relative peace on the train, until something even more annoying came on board.
Mats and Minahs.
If my kids ever turn out to be anything like them, I will stab myself.

Revelations

2009-10-09T20:28:00.001+08:00

It is alarming how sheltered my life has been. To me, all things bad – divorce; adultery; drugs, all seem to belong only in the imaginations of authors and television drama producers.

I wonder if I would be a different person if I succumb now to the want to fit in with the rest of my course. A life of studying by day and partying by night – only to go to school on Monday mornings feeling like the walking dead; A life of killing my lungs and kidneys through excessive drinking and smoking.

I can imagine it now: I would wake up in the mornings and dress like I was going to town. I would be expected to keep up with the latest fashion trends on the runways and online; Take an obscene amount of interest in what’s happened to which celebrity; Have to doll myself up (with concealer, eyeliner and lip gloss to say the very least). I would then head to school and attend lessons, and chat and bitch and gossip with the rest of them.

Is that really what I want? Or what I need? It would probably be easy to start networking now with them (of course this network could potentially be useful in my career), but is there a middle line that I can stand on? Attend their parties but not kill myself, hold a conversation without bitching or gossiping about someone else?

Judging from the events that transpired at the most recent CMM party (which I yet again, failed to attend), I believe it would be an eye-opener in many ways. After all, it isn’t every day that you see a married (I think) lecturer bring his mistress to a party held by his students, and proceed to make out with another (male) student – who was incidentally high on liqour and had accepted the offer of $5 to approach said lecturer.

Am I really suited for Communications?

2009-10-04T09:57:00.003+08:00

Yesterday saw me meeting up with Marcus, then heading to TM Starbucks for him to catch up with Ger, Wai and Cons.

One thing about being at Starbucks - I feel really uncomfortable (dislike, even) being the only person who gets a drink. Sure, I suggested meeting there but it was still just a suggestion that could be rejected, instead of everyone heading there and just waiting for me to get my drink. We should meet elsewhere next time :) Maybe Macs, yeah?

------------------------------

As told by Shuhan,

2009-10-01T23:37:00.002+08:00

I am slow.

And I think I may have a weakness for pale guys with emo hair and cool eyes xD

Dreams... Again.

2009-09-30T10:20:00.004+08:00

It's been a long time since I blogged about dreaming. Or rather, the recurring dream that I've been having. It's always the same storyline in different situations, but recently they've taken a rather scary turn. There's interaction now, the type that I would have loved to have maybe a year ago. But now... It just scares me.

In a conversation with Faith quite some time ago, I told her this: If things with Marcus don't work out, then I'm coming clean with *him, about everything. And then, I'll see what happens from there. Chances are that I won't be taking anyone else into my life for a good long while. Maybe I'll give up. Maybe I'll just die. Maybe.

Sometimes I feel it's unfair for you Marcus ): I'm sorry, and always thankful that you can love me through these dreams. <3

2009-09-29T23:59:00.002+08:00

I'm actually typing this on Wednesday morning :D

Spent nearly the whole day with Mummy on Tuesday :D Shop shop eat eat :D I like :D

She brought up the moving house issue again. I don't really wanna post everything here but suffice to say, I don't know why they're doing it, especially if it only brings financial problems.

I'm watching the Ris Low video again. I die everytime I watch it, but there's something morbidly funny about her being Ms Singapore World.

Boomz!

2009-09-28T21:09:00.002+08:00

Eat snake...

2009-09-28T17:08:00.003+08:00

Daddy's home early today :O

------------------------------

One of my favourite moments in the movies :D

Sinema, Old School

2009-09-27T22:13:00.003+08:00

Peiqin told us that we don't have to go on Tuesday anymore ): That leaves me with one extra day of rotting at home. On the other hand, I get 12 free movie screenings :D

Today, Faith forgot to inform me that we only had to be there at 5.00, so I went at the usual time - 2.30pm. Goodness. I never knew that a couple of hours was so hard to kill, but I've got a newfound love! DAISO :D

Wish I were going too...

2009-09-26T16:27:00.000+08:00

and

The Pudding will be off to Japan tonight... He'll be there for nearly a week.

Amazingly, the upcoming days are going to be the longest time that I've gone without seeing him in 11 months.

It's going to be interesting.

See you on the 3rd, Marcus :)

Impressions,

2009-09-24T21:47:00.002+08:00

especially the first ones, are important.

However, if the person has had half a year more to interact with you, could the impression change? I keep reminding myself that she sees only the surface, yet I can't help but keep thinking. What if she doesn't like me? Yes, you tell me: "So what? It's not like she's the one you're dating or marrying..."

Worry, I still.

2009-09-22T21:26:00.002+08:00

That sentence is playing in my head like a broken record.

It's always the personal statements that get to me the most.

2009-09-22T10:18:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, too much information isn't a good thing. The WWW is dangerous.

Chalet

2009-09-21T10:11:00.003+08:00

I have never come into encounter with so many insects in my life. It was rather horrifying. I hate cockroaches to death. I'm afraid of cockroaches but I don't think many people know that. :)
Oh, and I can't believe I mopped the floor at the chalet. I'm so pampered at home that I don't even need to wash the dishes. Gee.

Kthxbye.

But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete

2009-09-16T16:21:00.006+08:00

To put it metaphorically, I feel like I chose to alight from a bus, nearly 2 years ago. But now I'm stranded on the same road, waiting and waiting, for a ride that's never going to come.
And all I can think about is what I "should have" done.
Did I mention that I'm not brave enough to walk alone till I see the bus?

I keep telling myself it's over. But it's never over, is it?
Pro fide, Pro utilitate homonium

Putting eggs into the wrong basket

2009-09-15T11:39:00.003+08:00

Give them to a lovable little boy to sell at the market, and he may very well trade them for a toy that breaks within a couple of months. Give them to a shrewd and calculative businessman instead and the chances of reaping returns are greatly increased.

Sometimes passion leads us into situations where we cannot differentiate between what we want to do and what we have to do. Understandably, determination is much easier to find in a field for which you have passion, yet it may not always be the one that brings rewards.

Sometimes I feel like I'm thinking too much into situations. After all, I'm only turning 18. I practically am expected to make rash decisions that may lead me into a pit and from which I would have to scramble out from. In the event that I don't make it out, said pit could also very well screw my life up.

To take the path less travelled is never easy. Sometimes, we just have to. Which have you chosen?

2009-09-13T22:43:00.000+08:00

I has iPod Nano!
(Jumps around in joy)

2009-09-07T21:55:00.001+08:00

Have you heard about the man who stood by the roadside and allowed his girlfriend to hit him repeatedly in the nuts? In full view of the public? I think you have - which brings to mind the moral dilemmas that men inevitably find themselves in.
No, they shouldn't allow a woman to hit them in the balls in public. They are not respecting themselves, the man is probably a wimp. Yet they cannot fight back - to do so would be unchivalrous.
Do they leave all the decision making to the women? You bring your girlfriend out on a date. If you do not decide what movie to catch or where to eat, you are indecisive and weak. If you take it upon yourself to make the choices, you are not respecting her wishes.
These are but common examples, and there are a whole lot of others.
So how now brown cow?

Came across the lyics to this song on Julie's blog:

Oh Jesus, I love you
And I love Buddha too
Ramakrishna, Guru Dev
Tao Te Ching and Mohammed
Why do some people say
That there is just one way
To love you, God, and come to you?
We are all a part of you
You are un-nameable
You are unknowable
All we have is metaphor
That’s what time and space are for
Is the universe your thought?
You are and you are not
You are many, you are one
Ever ending, just begun
Alright, alright, alright
I love you and Buddha too.

- Mason Jennings

Techno Viking

2009-09-05T10:33:00.003+08:00

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

2009-09-05T00:29:00.003+08:00

I like the blue and the green ones :D
Red is nice too...

IT Fair, maybe?

Holy Shit

2009-09-02T15:17:00.002+08:00

Need... To... Get... Mental... Image... Out... Of... Mind...

Make love, Not war

2009-09-02T11:17:00.003+08:00

I was angry with my friend:

I told my wrath, my wrath did end.

I was angry with my foe:

I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I water'd it in fears,

Night and morning with my tears;

And I sunned it with smiles,

And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night,

Till it bore an apple bright;

And my foe beheld it shine,

And he knew that it was mine,

And into my garden stole

When the night had veil'd the pole:

In the morning glad I see

My foe outstretch'd beneath the tree.

- William Blake

Holidays

2009-08-30T15:23:00.000+08:00

End of term has perhaps come a bit too suddenly. It leaves me at a loss as to what to do. The next two months stretch out in front of me, never-ending days with nothing to occupy myself with. I would like to work, of course, but fact is that I'm lazy. I detest waking up every morning and knowing that I have to start my working shift at a particular time.
And the weather, sheesh. It was sweltering yesterday, you could have cooked an egg on the floor at ECP. Attempted to skate but it was simply too hot for us to continue too long. We popped by the Singapore Xtreme Championships to take a look and saw Gordon! With a skateboard. Gee, I never knew he could skateboard. Talk about enigma.

Am now watching Blood Diamond on Channel 5. I think this movie was supposed to be screened to us in Socio/Psycho class, only Mrs Wee decided to scrap it.

It's over

2009-08-26T12:57:00.003+08:00

And I've never felt worse after a paper, knowing that I DID study to the best of my ability, but the concepts just wouldn't get into my head. And, I neglected one of the topics which ended up as a case study - Social Change and Urbanization. However I think I managed to get at least a third out of the twenty marks it was worth. Then in the post-paper discussion I realized that I made a mistake in the very first question of the paper - also on Social Change.
Kill me, plsthx.
Okaybye.

2009-08-26T06:46:00.002+08:00

People conform under the situational circumstances of

-unanimity, when there is support

-cohesion, when they are in a group and the rest of the members conform

-public response, when they have to answer in public instead of writing in private

-influence of higher status, where a person of a higher status pressures them

and if no prior commitment has been made.

The personal factors that affect conformity are

-need for individuation, if the person wishes to be unique then he/she is less likely to conform

-desire for personal control, if the person wishes to go against the flow to assert personal control

-self presentation, if there is a person of a higher status and he/she wishes to make a good impression and if conformity is viewed as a sign of intelligence

-self awareness, if the person has private self awareness he/she is less likely to conform but instead adhere to personal standards of behaviour.

The people who conform could be because of one of the following factors

-Culture, a person from a collectivist culture is more likely to conform as compared to someone from an individualistic culture

-Personality, people who need social approval are more likely to conform to socially accepted behaviour

-Social rules, people who step into a social rule are expected to conform to social expectations for that role.

Persuasion is the process by which a message influences and changes the attitudes, beliefs and values of a person or people. There are two routes to persuasion

-Central, where the focus is on logical arguments and forcing the person to think systematically

-Peripheral, where the focus is on familiar statements that are more likely to trigger acceptance.

Aggression is defined as any form of physical or verbal behaviour that is intended to cause harm to a person, oneself or an object. There are two types of aggression

-Hostile, which stems from anger and usually dissipates with an act of aggression (an end in itself)

-Instrumental, where aggressive acts are used to assert one's stand and win an ideology or to gain control and power.

The Social Learning theory states that we learn social behaviour by observing and limiting, and by being rewarded or punished. Aggressive behaviour is often rewarding as people tend to get what they want.

Alturism is the motive to increase another's welfare without conscious regard for your own self-interests.

The Social Exchange theory believes that human interactions are merely transactions between people. The transactions aim to maximize rewards and minimize costs for oneself. There are

-External Rewards, which could be tangible like money or intangible like friendship and a good image

-Internal Rewards are rewards that cannot be seen and usually result in a sense of self-worth. Internal rewards are most valued by people that have a shaken self-image or are feeling guilty.

The Social Norm theory believe that altruism can be explained by two norms

-Social Responsibility norm, where people feel compelled to help those that are in need even if there is no potential reward

-Reciprocity norm, where people feel compelled to help those who have once aided them.

Prejudice is a preconceived negative judgement against a person or a group of people. Discrimination is unjustified negative behaviour towards a particular social group. Sterotype is a generalized belief about the personal attributes of a particular social group.

Social dilemmas happen when people pursue individual self-interest to their collective detriment. When this happens, choices that were individually rewarding have the effect of being collectively punishing.

-The Tragedy of the Commons, common resources are used and over-used by people for their individual self-interest. This leads to a depletion of the resource. When this happens, people feel that it is no longer their business and instead blame others for wasting the resource.

There are five ways to resolve social dilemmas

-Communication, discussing about a dilemma is likely to make the group more willing to cooperate and resolve it

-Changing the payoffs, making cooperation more rewarding than exploitation

-Small is beautiful, keeping the group small increases the members' sense of personal responsibility

-Regulation, coming up with a set of regulations to safeguard the common good

-Appeal to altruistic norms of Social Responsibility and Reciprocity.

The four 'C's of Peacemaking are

-Communication

(Bargaining)

(Mediation)

(Arbitration)

-Concilation

(GRIT - Graduated and Reciprocated Initiatives in Tension reduction

(The initiator is usually exploited)

-Contact

(Does desegregation contribute to peacemaking?)

(Equal-status contact)

-Cooperation

(Common external threats)

(Superordinate goals)

(Cooperative learning)

(Group and superordinate identities)

That's all for now.

1130h. Everything will be over.

Psychology

2009-08-25T23:07:00.000+08:00

The Frustration-Aggression Theory states that frustration causes aggression to arise. The stronger the motivation to achieve a goal, the greater the aggression when the way to it is blocked. However, the Scapegoat Theory states that in the event of the source of aggression being unknown or too intimidating, aggression is relieved by being unleashed upon another object - displaced aggression.
In this case, my goal is to attain an 'A' in tomorrow's Psychology paper, yet my brain is refusing to absorb any more of the wonderful information. Therefore I am frustrated (and have been since this afternoon), and am feeling particularly aggressive at the moment. Yet, my aggression cannot be taken out upon the source itself, because there's no way I can defeat the paper tomorrow. As a result, I am feeling particularly vindictive towards the notes from both BMR and Psycho.

I want to start a bonfire tomorrow.
Burn baby, burn.

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

2009-08-25T14:20:00.001+08:00

What a daft punk.

Rife & Strife

2009-08-23T10:58:00.001+08:00

This year's NDP Rally saw the PM bringing up the issue of race and religion - a sensitive one at best.

"... we still have to be careful because racial and religious conflicts can still pull us apart."

I've seen relationships and friendships disintegrate because of this topic. As long as everyone has a different perspective, they are likely to never come to an agreement. Faith is a personal choice, and no one should be questioned for theirs.

I will not ever speak of religion with anyone unless that person is completely neutral and unbiased.

It's not any easier having a best friend and a boyfriend with vastly differing opinions. I feel like I want to dig a hole into the flooring and crawl in to die, without ~~hearing~~ reading any more opinions on religion.

Here's what I'll do: I'm going to shut up, and stop answering in either conversation.

Now you know why I didn't answer anymore?

2009-08-12T09:16:00.002+08:00

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white;

Just our hands clasped so tight,

Waiting for the hint of a spark

If heaven and hell decide

That they both are satisfied

Illuminate the 'No's on their vacancy signs

Dear Liwei,

2009-08-11T07:28:00.007+08:00

Oh my, my, my, you're angry this morning, aren't you? Don't be mad at me - I meant no harm. Of course, even though when they're with me, they turn into senseless, automated, and on some occasions, vulgarity-spitting robots.
I'm sure my creators didn't mean for me to be so wonderful and addictive, yet I'm not sorry I am. You cannot imagine the pleasure it gives me every time someone gets so involved with me that they forget everything else, including bodily needs.
Each time they say they forgot lunch, dinner, or sleep because of me, it sends a thrill down my spine.
What's that? It hurts you when that happens?
Honestly, do you think I care? What does your heart matter?
Not that I want to hurt you, but girl, you have to understand that I am special - yes, more special than you.
I provide countless hours of entertainment, and no two instances are ever the same. The ongoing battle keeps the men suitably impressed, so much so that after they're done with me for the moment, they WILL come back for more.
Why am I so addictive, you ask? Of course it's because of the entertainment I provide, silly. I never say no to them and I never ever reject them. My allure is such that even though on occasions they get disconnected, they never give up on me.
Oh dear, don't look so glum.
What could you possibly have to offer when compared to me?
Do you have the ability to keep him occupied for hours on end, or through the night?
No.
Are you willing to drop whatever you may be doing, and go to him anytime, anywhere?
No.
You wouldn't even stay up late to wait for him.
Would you make sure that every single day he spends with you is fulfilling, and different from others?
Of course you couldn't.
So stop complaining, my girl, and accept what other girls before you have accepted.

Your dear friend,
DotA

PS: You're a bitch. He deserves better.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Operation failed

2009-08-08T23:25:00.002+08:00

Today was an interesting experience - it was probably the longest I've spent waiting for someone.

From the sms-ing in the beginning by Gerald to the actual running around, I sure had a lot of fun, and learnt a couple of lessons while I was at it. The plan failed in the end due to our own nervousness, but I don't think we regretted any of it.

Went to meet Gerald and Constance to go to Central, ate at Chippy. Had a random conversation with a British tourist, I think he was offended because we weren't really conversational with him. Oops.

Anyway, camped outside Starbucks where we had a view of the opposite bus stop, and waited. I lost count of the "She should be on this bus"-es. When she finally arrived, we seperated and went to different corners. However, she did not come up as expected. I wandered around for a bit looking for her, before receiving Constance's call that she was there. So I rushed back over, and randomly decided to walk past her into Giordano so that I could see her, but C had to drag me back into Bossini. She went out to the main area after that. I didn't dare to follow her, M lost track of her, G and C didn't see her and she didn't reappear again.

I initially thought she had seen me and decided to go off, but I've read her blog and it's not the case. Hmm.

Lessons learnt:
1) Recce area beforehand
2) Plan
3) Have more eyes
4) That belong to unfamiliar faces
5) TAIL HER!!!

2009-08-01T23:19:00.002+08:00

I cannot wait for this semester to be over.
It's been a long and fulfilling one, and I've discovered something that I actually may not mind doing for the rest of my life.
But I still have some thinking to do - Broadcasting is the only diploma option for me if I want to go into production yet the coursework comprises being in front of the camera as well as behind it. I'm not too sure how well I can deal with that.
Everything about BMR, SingCam, AudioPro and Psychology will be over on the 26th of August. That's 26 more days.

Anyway, I spent the whole of my Saturday rotting on my bed and reading fanfiction.
(L) Severus Snape

Until Pudding popped up at my door all sweaty and stinky from Rockamania, completely un-huggable and un-sniffable. So I made him take a shower, and we went for dinner. After dinner I simply came back home and rotted with more fanfiction till now - I'm waiting for him to finish watching anime so that we can go to sleep.

In case anyone out there is wondering why I have to wait for him, this is my theory:
I want him to sleep early, therefore I have to pressure him by saying that I will sleep only when he sleeps, thereby compelling him to turn in earlier unless he wants me to turn into a panda.

2009-07-27T20:39:00.004+08:00

Some moments, I feel myself weakening.
I lose faith in myself.
In my capabilities.
In my ability to keep emotions in check.

Some moments, snippets of time that were once banished, come back to haunt me.

Some moments, I am weak.

And how's it been?

2009-07-26T23:28:00.003+08:00

My life has been a mass of meetings, schoolwork, skating, art space, pudding and friends.
(I just sent a request for pandas in Zoo)
Got a craving for dory from Mensa. Hmm, lunch tomorrow.
Today was my first trip to Orchard in a long, long time. Nothing much has changed only a couple of new buildings have sprouted up recently.
Today was also my first experience filming on location outdoors. It isn't easy.
I've a long way to go if I want to make this path my career, and it isn't going to be all peaches and cream. Mummy and Daddy are still skeptical as to whether I can make it in production. I don't know what they want out of me anymore.
And before I forget, I almost lost my wallet today - I left it on bus 10 when we were heading to meet Constance for Pudding's piano lesson. I actually alighted from the bus even though I couldn't find my wallet in my bag or on my person. I'm sorry Cons and Marcus.
I got it back eventually, we got into a cab and asked the uncle to follow the bus 10 route to the interchange, caught up with the bus at Simpang, went up to check and thank goodness my wallet was still there. I became extremely paranoid for the rest of the day.

Things are weighing heavily on my mind now - I just agreed to work on my 1st year anniv with Marcus.
My AudioPro group project is not done and we still haven't filmed for Remaking a Scene - heck, we don't even have all our cast yet. This is going to be a nightmare.
BMR group project is almost due and I'm not looking forward to organizing all the data into pie charts, then editing and compiling the report.
The examinations are nearing - one more month. I'm scared. BMR is going to suck for sure, but I just want to do well on the Psychology exam. I dont' want my B+ in the Sociology test to go to waste...
Outside of the classroom I'll be taking on my first show as a PC subcomm. Stage Manager.
I have to do it well. I have to.

A last matter - the results for MyPledge are out and we didn't win anything. If only I knew what went wrong... If only.
Surprisingly, the winning entries were relatively straightforward in communicating the crew's interpretation of the pledge. Maybe our approach was too indirect, maybe we should have taken Ms Chee's advice with a pinch of salt. Maybe we should have been mundane.
Still, water under the bridge.

Goodnight.

Pissed off.

2009-07-17T16:23:00.001+08:00

Fuck 'em Socio group meetings.

So the meeting time was 4, outside the library. At 4pm, I saw YOU walk past the library into Business. At 4.20, YOU and YOU came to tell me that you guys couldn't make it till 5. The fucking meeting started at 4.40. I wasted 40 fucking minutes sitting outside the library. When things got under way, you guys proved that your understanding of the topics are nowhere near enough, the suggestions you gave were COMPLETELY OFF. The meeting was USELESS and I probably could have done the work myself.

Fuck Sociology.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

2009-07-16T10:52:00.001+08:00

I wish Snape could replace Mrs Wee, Psychology class would be that much more fun...

HBP opens today.

2009-07-15T21:23:00.002+08:00

I THINK SHUHAN ROCKS TO THE MAX~~~~~
LOVE LOVE (:

AND YES, IM SERIOUS ABOUT IT (:
AND YES, I LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU, ~~MARCUS~~ PUDDING

My Zoo is taking over my life...

2009-07-12T10:57:00.002+08:00

I went to the shop yesterday and a couple of really interesting things happened.

There was a man that came in to order a bowl of $8 noodles - then he sat down to share it with his friend. We thought, maybe they're just not too hungry.
THEN, another man joined them. One of the first two then left, only to be replaced by a woman. The first guy that came also left, and a little girl took his place. Then the remaining guy left and was replaced by ANOTHER man.
6 people, all for a bowl of noodles.

Chen Li Ping came too! :D Was kinda surprised to see her~

This has been a really senseless post - thanks for reading.

Oops, wrong number.

2009-07-09T21:21:00.002+08:00

I hate it when people dial a wrong number, then ask insistently for someone who isn't me, and promptly hang up when I say "I think you've got the wrong number" without so much as an apology, only to call again 3 seconds later, ask for the same person and hang up on me, AGAIN!

Things to do:

Print Audio script and BOE proposal

Get CD from Marcus

Burn Audio into CD

Sociology group meeting

Reccee of location for remaking of scene

Overboard

2009-07-09T09:49:00.002+08:00

"But, don't you mind?"
"No... I guess not."

2009-07-05T22:25:00.002+08:00

My phone took a walkabout again last week. Thankfully though, I had my sim card replaced. Gah. I should superglue my phone to myself so that it can't go missing anymore.
The past week has been full of movies. Taken, Billy Elliot, The Dark Knight, Harry Potter 3/4/5, Transporter 1/2, 10 Things I Hate About You, A Knight's Tale and half of Coyote Ugly.

Meanwhile, On The Rise from Dr Horrible is stuck in my head.

Any dolt with half a brain
Can see that humankind has gone insane
To the point where I don’t know if I’ll upset the status quo
If I throw poison in the watermain.

Listen close to everybody’s heart
And hear that breaking sound
Hopes and dreams are shattering apart
And crashing to the ground

Shadow of angels

2009-07-04T13:49:00.001+08:00

Sunrise on Sunset Beach
Finds me right where I watched it set
I spent the night inside myself
But I haven't found me yet

But I'm not running from you anymore
I'm not running from you anymore, oh no not anymore

Cause I believe that when I call for you
You hear the plea for my rescue
You lift me up above the world I know
And I know that when I speak your name
You hear my voice and send your saints
To cover me in the shadow of angels

I got caught in the memories
Cause they never fail to prove
I'm insecure and incomplete
It's a stinging point of truth

So I will never find the best of me
Until I find myself in you, I'll find myself in you

Fiasco

2009-06-30T21:09:00.001+08:00

The film for mypledge was handed up at 1140h today. There it goes, now I can only cross my fingers that we win something - if only to recoup our money spent during production.
The editing process was certainly an experience though. ZK is the master of jump cuts, and my editing skills improved drastically in a single day. Although the final product wasn't up to our expectations, we still did a good job for our first time :D
The editing for the PSA however, was a whole new can of worms. Our almost-final product (missing audio track) was completed, I saved all the bins and closed Avid. Then we decided to export it into our thumbdrives instead. However, when we re-opened Avid (less than a minute later), our video track was gone!!! No one has any idea how it happened so I'll just pray that the Gods of Leniency give Mrs Raimi a little poke, to let us have more editing time WITHOUT deduction of marks.
I have to do the powerpoint slides for tomorrow. Bye.

Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

2009-06-28T09:18:00.005+08:00

I love Neil Patrick Harris.

2009-06-26T22:06:00.003+08:00

The CMM lip dub videos are out - Youtube!
I won't post them here, go find them if you want to watch.
User: tpcmm
On hindsight I realised that my class probably chose the wrong song for a lip dub - it was too fast. But we made a commendable effort in trying to give everyone equal screen time and Cheryl totally rocked as the camerawoman.

I've been feeling lethargic. Exercise is needed. Skating - 5th July, Sunday. \m/

2009-06-25T09:13:00.002+08:00

Back to Sociology - I've forgotten everything about Hotel Rwanda.

(I hope the school closes due to the H1N1 threat)

Being completely unprepared for a term test suck, even if I HAVE supposedly had the entire term to study for it. Recently I've also been thinking about myself as a sub-comm member of PC - have I really done anything? I've yet to take a show and I doubt I will be able to make it for the training workshop this Saturday. My skills are nowhere near enough to handle being in the control room without guidance, I should be attending the workshop to learn instead of to teach.

Gee.

As we go on we remember

2009-06-22T21:38:00.002+08:00

BMR was completed and submitted by the end of tutorial today. I came straight home to rest and proceeded to rot the rest of my day away!

My cheese keeps going stale or getting eaten by mice! I think I'm operating on a loss here...
Oh no I'm running out of things to blog.
I shall sleep.

A short update...

2009-06-21T22:24:00.002+08:00

For those who actually care, I'm dead tired but extremely satisfied with the Always Hungry filming. Now for the editing...
School starts tomorrow. BMR Individual Assignment 1 is due at 11am tomorrow too. I've not started. I'm so dead.
Okay, bye!

Damned mice

2009-06-16T07:39:00.002+08:00

Yes, I am a poverty-stricken Mouse Hunter.

I am a cyber-stalker

2009-06-15T22:48:00.002+08:00

Filming of TVC today went pretty well until the tape decided to rewrite itself over and over at a particular time-code. Shit.
Tomorrow is the beginning of the PC camp. I will forget anything to do with Single Camera Production after I leave the studio at noon, until the next time we have to do re-filming or editing.

My mind is a blank slate now. I just want to forget about everything for a couple of days. Heck, I don't even feel like packing my bag for camp!

My inner cyber-stalker comes out in full force when I am particularly interested in a person. For example, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend.
I try to find out as much as I can about their time together and it's not because I'm insecure. I just get this niggling feeling inside of me to find out as much as I can. Knowledge is power.
Cyber-stalking also brings out the worst in me. Sometimes I wonder if I may be going overboard with digging into the past. It also prompts me to wonder "what would happen if we bump into each other?"

And I discovered Red Bull is now SUGAR FREE!

2009-06-14T21:04:00.006+08:00

Me: "Let's go to Mapuku for dinner"
Mummy: "Huh?"
Me: "Manpuku..."
Mummy: "Manbuku?
Me: "Manpuku."
Mummy: "Mankuku?"
Brother: "ManPU!ku!"

And he spit saliva on me in the process.

We had dinner at Verge in Gillman Village - it's also home to Handle Bar, where all the motorcyclists go to.
The food was good!
But a tad expensive, and I'd still rather go to Al Forno since it's so much nearer.
I tried a Frozen Margarita and I didn't like it. At all. Bleagh.

Tomorrow is the shooting of the TVC. I hope everything goes well - but if it doesn't we're only metres away from the studio.

2009-06-13T23:14:00.007+08:00

This picture is so cute!

----------------------------------------
Filming for the PSA today was a disaster waiting to happen.
First, the camera wouldn't record and after much panicking, we finally managed to call Nicholas from MediaBiz and it turned out that our DV tape was on safe mode. (Safe mode prevents you from recording)
The bicycle shop uncle wouldn't act for us (not even for a simple scene) and his co-workers were just as unhelpful. Faith and Amelia managed to get hold of a stranger on the street and he was nice enough to rehearse and film the scene. We only realised the camera couldn't record AFTER the rehearsing and the guy (also called Nicholas) was VERY NICE! He gave us his number and agreed to come back to find us after we got the camera settled!
He wasn't even pissed off when we called him 20 short minutes later to tell him it was fine!
And he was on a date with his girlfriend...
Nice people, nice people.
After filming got underway, the weather got in the way.
It was really really hot, then it got overcast and finally a strong wind started to blow. We wrapped up filming (we hadn't finished!) so we'll have to continue another day T_T

Oh, and Daven was nice enough to come down when I asked for help regarding the tape! HAHAHAHA.

I shall sleep now.
Ta!

Sociology

2009-06-11T08:42:00.003+08:00

My group project for Sociology is, interestingly enough, about family businesses.
It is a given that family businesses DO exist but whether they coexist in peace or in conflict is entirely up to the proprietors.

[12:01am]
Sociology group meeting just now was an epic failure. Josh came late and the other Josh had to leave just as he came. The rest of us were simply incapable of producing anything of worth (with the exception of Marika).

I met Ziling again to complete the storyboard for our consultation with Ms Chee tomorrow, it didn't go too well either. We forgot to draw in crucial scenes (because we took photos for convenience), for example the PASSING OF THE BATON.

I had a really absurd dream last night about MEETING ZILING TO DO THE STORYBOARD.

-------------------------------------
I'm just tired.
All I want to do is flop into bed and go to sleep.
But I still have cast to settle.
And just thinking about attending CCA awards tomorrow when I could be doing things that are much more productive in that space of a few hours...
Oh my god.

Re-connecting with my roots?

2009-06-09T19:19:00.005+08:00

我送你离开千里之外你无声黑白
沉默年代或许不该太遥远的相爱
我送你离开天涯之外你是否还在
琴声何来生死难猜用一生去等待

周杰伦's version of the song wasn't that bad but 费玉清's solo is still better :D

Sometimes I don't see why the people in CMM are so potato-ish. There's nothing wrong with Mandarin and there's certainly no fault in having a chinese name. It may be harder for people to remember me (especially foreigners) but when the time comes for me to deal with it, I will. While I'm still in Singapore (where the majority population is Asian) I don't see why I should take an english name.
Sucks to those who think my chinese name is uncool. Do YOU know who I'm referring to?

While we're on the topic of CMM - Ziling, Marika and I had a mini-bitch/venting session about certain people in the course who are so self-obsessed you can't help but want to smack them. The lip dub was a class effort and never mind if you went off to get a drink (for YOURSELF only), but trying to get yourself more screen time when others only had a few seconds was plainly unreasonable and proof of how you're an attention-seeking idiot. Grow up!

BMR consultation with Mr Ramesh for our surveys was pretty good - he sure has his own way of teaching. I have to start on my BMR individual literature review as well as do some research for Sociology group project, and study for the test as well. In between all that, I shall have to find time to salvage my Audio Production assignment which I screwed up due to insufficient effort in scripting and preparation.

And I got myself landed for sound duty in the CCA awards ceremony - there goes two days of rest time/project time.

Regarding the title of this post: Yes, I AM interested in re-connecting with my chinese roots. CMM culture has all but atrophied my command of Mandarin. How do I get around to doing this...

I promise to read at least one 联合早报 per week. That should be a good enough start.

2009-06-08T21:42:00.004+08:00

Wild Wild Wet was interesting.
I got a tad sunburnt and the warm water of the shower stings my arms.
Ular-lah is by far the best ride there - until you get sick of it.
The wave pool is very much overrated (in my opinion) and I actually managed to get SEASICK while in it. Je suis très pathétique, non?

Honestly, the never-ending meetings and things to do are taking a toll on me and I cannot wait for this semester to be over and the break to be here. I haven't eaten with my family in about two weeks and it doesn't feel good.

Lip dub is crossed off my list of things-t0-do and I'm infinitely thankful for that.

GEEK IN THE PINK

P02

Cupid in his full glory

The stars of the show (missing the hot guy&girl)

Credits to Kat's camera for the photos :D She was an awesomely cute geek!

The first is always the hardest

2009-06-06T19:58:00.000+08:00

New blog, new beginnings.
------------------------------
Happy birthday, mummy.

I have to confess that I don't keep count of how old my parents are - I'd much prefer to think they are un-aging and will be with me forever. Self-delusion works, if only for the time being.
I know I'm not a good daughter - but I'm not bad either. It still pains my heart to see her love my brother so much and yet receive nothing in return.
He sulked through her birthday dinner at Pizza Hut (they chose PH because he likes it) and left immediately after I arrived to meet his friends.
------------------------------
I am extremely tired.